Minding your manners

Here’s my list of thirty important manners to help get your child ready for the new school year.

Originally published in the Moultrie News.

We need your help! It’s been a while since we’ve been in school. What are some basic school manners to teach my child before he starts school?

It’s back-to-school time! Is your child ready? Most parents do a good job of equipping their kids with the necessary supplies that money can buy — but what about the things that can only be purchased with guidance, time, and care? Things like good manners.

Parents rightfully focus on manners around the house, but kids need to be prepped for the new environments they’ll encounter at school, too. So here’s my list of thirty important manners to help get your child ready for their newest adventure. (How many did you observe when you were in school?)

Category 1: Manners dealing with respect for teachers and adults:

1. Listen to and obey your teacher and other adults.

2. Be punctual.

3. Raise your hand before you speak or leave your seat.

4. Always come to class prepared.

5. Do your homework promptly and turn it in on time.

6. Call adults “ma’am” or “sir.”

As I’ve said many times, treating teachers with good manners makes a much stronger impression than getting good grades. By highlighting politeness toward authority figures, you’ll also be preparing kids for the real world, where respect toward supervisors can be key to success.

Category 2: Manners dealing with respect for classmates:

7. Be kind to everyone, not just your friends.

8. Say “please” and “thank you.”

9. Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone.

10. Don’t touch other people’s things without permission.

11. Don’t always ask others for their food or supplies.

12. Don’t make fun of another person’s work.

13. Don’t brag about your own accomplishments.

14. Give up your seat if you see that someone else doesn’t have one.

15. Hold the door open for others.

16. Wait your turn.

17. Never cut in line.

19. Don’t whisper, talk, or cause distractions in class.

20. Don’t block others; keep moving.

21. Kindly hand things to others; don’t throw.

By emphasizing these manners, you’ll be doing your part to reverse the erosion of peer-to-peer respect in today’s social climate. If you’re like me, you’ve witnessed far too many instances of contempt shown by customers toward service providers, drivers toward other drivers, and often, perhaps most sadly, spouses toward each other. The foundation of mutual respect starts in school.

Category 3: Manners dealing with responsibility and personal conduct:

22. Sit up straight.

23. Dress appropriately.

24. Keep your desk, cubby, or locker clean and organized.

25. If you finish your work early, occupy yourself quietly.

26. Wipe your feet when coming into the building.

27. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.

28. Tell the teacher if class supplies are missing or broken.

29. Never cheat.

30. Don’t tell lies.

I won’t get into causation versus correlation, but teachers widely recognize that manners like these are often seen in the highest-achieving students. Many more could easily be added to the list, but these offer a strong foundation for positive lifelong outcomes.

Most teachers present these 30 norms as rules to be followed, but I believe there’s great value in parents framing them as manners to be upheld. “Rules” often suggests rigid or unnecessary restrictions, while “manners” evoke the refined behavior expected of society’s best. Rules set the minimum standard, but manners aim for something higher. Many children who yawn at rules may feel inspired to live up to good manners.

Best wishes and have a great year!

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Jody Stallings has been an award-winning teacher in Charleston since 1992 and is director of the Charleston Teacher Alliance. To submit a question, order his books, or follow him on social media, please visit JodyStallings.com.