Balancing risk and tragedy
Imprisoning parents for tragic accidents will have a chilling effect on those who believe in fostering their children's independence.
Originally published in the Moultrie News.
I read where the parents of a 7-year-old boy who was fatally hit by a car have been charged with manslaughter and child neglect. Why are laws turning against traditional parenting?
Maybe it’s because we’re obscuring the line between standard parenting and parental neglect.
According to news reports, the incident occurred on May 27 in Gastonia, North Carolina. Legend Jenkins, 7, and his 10-year-old brother were crossing the street when the younger boy stepped into traffic. Tragically, he was hit by a car and died.
The driver was not charged. It was an accident. She wasn’t speeding, and witnesses say the boy unexpectedly darted into the car’s path.
Legend’s parents, however, are charged with felony involuntary manslaughter and child neglect. They were each given a 1.5 million dollar bond. It’s legally unlikely they’ll even be able to attend their son’s memorial service.
What did they do to warrant such high charges? Starve their children? Hold them captive? Abuse them?
None of the above. They allowed their kids to walk home unattended. The children were with their mother at a shopping center near their house and asked if they could walk back home. She agreed.
That’s it. According to police reports, that’s the basis for their felony charges.
The road the kids were trying to cross is shown in video reports. It’s wider than most, but it doesn’t look very busy or dangerous. When I was around Legend’s age, I walked a similar road to get from my uncle’s house to his grocery store.
Most of you probably took similar ventures at that age. By the end of first grade, my classmates and I walked to school unattended. By age 10 —Legend’s brother’s age — many kids were babysitting younger siblings.
There’s a meme showing a lawn strewn with bicycles. The caption reads, “This is how our parents knew where we were when I was a child.”
In general, parents of the past — and today’s parents who follow traditional norms — allowed kids greater independence. As it turns out, such autonomy provides advantages that today’s bubble-wrapped generation lacks.
Studies suggest allowing kids more age-appropriate freedom instills crucial life skills, like how to assess risks, solve problems, think critically, be resilient, manage conflict, handle boredom, be independent, develop socially, understand the real world, experience community, acquire a sense of geography, understand consequences, exercise, create, make choices and explore interests. This may explain why Gen X outperforms Millennials and Gen Z in these areas.
Note that “freedom” does not mean “permissiveness.” Nor does it mean a thoughtless lack of supervision. Responsible freedom empowers kids gradually. It prepares them for hazards and sets reasonable boundaries. Letting kids walk through a neighborhood might be fine. Letting them walk home on the interstate would be negligent. Handing them a phone without constraints is insanity.
I don’t know if prosecuting these parents constitutes a legal assault on traditional parenting, but it’s not an isolated example. In April, a mother of 8 and 10-year-old boys in Calhoun, Georgia, was charged with child cruelty for leaving her kids home alone for a few hours. In October, another Georgia mom was jailed for letting her 10-year-old walk alone for less than a mile.
These prosecutions aren’t about targeting criminal behavior. They're about affirming the belief that we can control our children's lives, including whether they live or die. But this belief is an illusion. Despite our best efforts — security cameras, GPS trackers, constant physical presence — accidents still occur. Had Legend been walking with his parents, he might have still lurched into that car.
There is undoubtedly a balance between risk and freedom, but imprisoning parents for tragic accidents will have a chilling effect on all parents who believe in fostering their children's independence.
Lenore Skenazy, co-founder of the nonprofit Let Grow, which advocates for “free-range parenting,” explains it this way: “Turning tragedy into punishment doesn't make kids safer. It just makes all parents more afraid — and all families more vulnerable.”
Jody Stallings has been an award-winning teacher in Charleston since 1992 and is director of the Charleston Teacher Alliance. To submit a question, order his books, or follow him on social media, please visit JodyStallings.com.