Getting over the hump
What to do when you're child just can't get that A ... and why you might not want him to.
Originally published in the Moultrie News.
No matter how hard my son tries, there is a course he just can't get an A in. He gets A's in his other courses, and he's had all A's before. What can I do to get him over the hump?
As a teacher of a challenging course, I receive this concern a lot, as many prior A students find themselves with B's or (horror upon horror) C’s in my class. To you and to them, I offer the following considerations:
1. Courses get harder: An A in algebra doesn't mean an A in geometry. Ideally, the way school works is that curricula get progressively more sophisticated and therefore more challenging. There's an enormous leap in complexity from sixth grade’s The House on Mango Street to eighth grade’s To Kill a Mockingbird. Put another way, winning all your races at Regionals doesn't mean you’ll win by the same margin at State.
2. As courses get more challenging, so do learning practices: In the middle grades, for example, there's a transition from fill-in-the-blank answers to more analytical responses. Homework shifts from “fill out this worksheet” to “study chapter nine.” Students don’t always readily adapt to the advances.
3. Accountability increases as courses develop: A lesson on the Constitution in sixth grade will be tested a lot less thoroughly than a lesson on the same topic in 11th because students are expected to understand more.
4. Increased attention is required as courses become more challenging: When teachers are presenting more complex lessons, kids have to engage with sharper and longer focus.
5. Gifted students have it easy early on: In elementary classrooms with lots of heterogeneity, it's a cinch for accelerated students to get good grades because the lessons and tests are targeted to the average lower-achieving student. But as students age, courses tend to be tracked by achievement, so the target narrows.
6. It's okay to get a B: B’s get degrees, too. If a child is studying, behaving, and working hard, a B is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s something to be proud of, which is why most schools cite such students on the Honor Roll. If you see B’s as a mark of failure, you might consider recalibrating your perspective because ...
7. When you put too much pressure on a child (or they put too much pressure on themselves), bad things happen: Over time, the unceasing stress wears students down. They suffer educational burnout. They can succumb to anxiety and depression. They fail to acquire coping skills or shed them entirely. They neglect socialization. They may eventually place even more pressure on their own children. Too much pressure isn’t helpful because ...
8. Getting A's is incredibly hard: At least it should be. If students are getting A’s with little effort, they either need to be in a more challenging class, or the teacher is letting them down. Remember this expression: when you’re at about 90 percent, you're halfway way there. That ratio sounds ideal to me. The difference between a B and an A is roughly 50 percent more effort, more focus, and more study. Not all students are up to that, and that's okay because ...
9. There are more important things in life than getting all A's: Things like high character, for example. Respect, responsibility, integrity, gratitude, patience, kindness, and diligence are all qualities that will get your child farther in life than the ability to get an A in every class.
So to answer your concern about what you can do to get your child over the hump, first, consider everything I've written and carefully decide if you still want to. If so, I recommend arranging a conference with your son, his teacher, and you so the teacher can outline what your child can do better.
Just keep in mind that A’s may still be beyond reasonable attainability. Character, discipline and engagement never are, however, so I advise adapting accordingly.
Jody Stallings has been an award-winning teacher in Charleston since 1992 and is director of the Charleston Teacher Alliance. To submit a question, order his books, or follow him on social media, please visit JodyStallings.com.