Instilling good habits—minute by minute

How can parents make sure kids do their homework?

Originally published in the Moultrie News.

Help! The teachers say my son isn’t doing his homework. How can I make sure he completes it?

I haven’t addressed this problem in a while, and with the school year still in its bloom, it’s a great time to review the Table and Timer method.

I don’t recommend this method if everything is hunky dory. As long as you’ve provided your child with the motive, means, and opportunity to succeed (sounds a bit like murder), give them room to explore different ways of getting the job done. It’s when things go south — as in this case — that you need to impose more rigid measures.

Table and Timer works like this: Make the child sit at the kitchen table (or some other public area) with his homework materials. Set a timer according to the “10-minute rule” and make him work for the duration.

The 10-minute rule says kids should have about 10 minutes of nightly homework for every grade level. So first graders should have about 10 minutes of homework. Sixth graders should have 60 minutes. Seniors should have about 120 minutes (good luck with that).

Let’s say your child is a seventh grader. Set an actual timer (I prefer one in the shape of a lemon, strictly for nostalgia’s sake) for 70 minutes. For that whole period, the child sits at the table working. If he goes to the bathroom, pause the timer. When it dings, he’s free.

The child may tell you he doesn’t have any homework, much less 70 minutes worth. Doesn’t matter. His word on this subject has already proven untrustworthy. He’s there for 70 minutes regardless. If he says he has nothing to do, make him read a book or write an essay. Learning doesn’t have to be prescribed by the school; he can use the time to learn anything you want him to. A visit to the library for books on different subjects may help. The goal is to build good study habits.

Obviously, the phone should be hiding in the washing machine or some other secret stash for this duration. And don’t let him use the computer. Computers are the ultimate distraction, and they’re often why parents think kids are doing homework when they’re really doing no such thing. Instead, let him write his papers by hand and use a physical set of textbooks.

Some teachers may require him to work on a computer. If that’s the case, it should be a school-issued computer (they usually lock down some of the more distracting apps). Make sure the screen is facing out where you can always see it. If you notice he’s off task, you can add ten minutes to his time.

I wouldn’t start the method the moment he gets home unless he prefers it. Kids need time to run and play, and they might need a snack or some downtime. Let them have it. Mutually agree on a consistent start time, then stick to it.

Employ the method until the teacher says things are on track, but add a “make sure” period. You’re trying to instill habits, and that takes time. You can use the school’s grading periods as a benchmark.

A final warning: Put the responsibility on your child, not on you. Don’t check on what his assignments are for him, email his teacher for directions, or rush back to school to get books he forgot. He has to learn to stand on his own two feet, and you’re already having to force the regimen on him. If he fails to write down his homework, oh, well. That just brings him closer to another marking period at the table.

I know this method works because I’ve seen it help a lot of middle schoolers, including my own child. Now, Rome wasn’t built in a day, so be patient. There may be fuming and fussing and foaming at the mouth, but don’t bother engaging with the histrionics. Just pause the timer during the tantrum. You’re the parent. You have the power. Sometimes you have to use it.

Read the original column here.